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Brainwashed


I'm brainwashed: Friday is primary day. More than a decade this was my credo. Friday, primary.

It's difficult these days not to follow this rule. But it doesn't feel good. It's possible to do forward bending asanas without creating back pain. Yet primary gives me set backs. After all these forward bending asanas my back has enough.

So last Friday I did primary. Then I could 'enjoy' back pain again. I was not motivated to step on the mat on Sunday again. To start my practice with fascia massage drives me crazy.

Is Ashtanga yoga enough to stay fit? I don't think so. The asset of yoga is that one can become very flexible. I also got stronger, but not strong enough for some asanas. I recommend strength training in addition if you are in your 50th.

As I didn't like to become a sofa animal again due to my returning back issues, I searched and found my fitbit tracker watch. At least 10.000 steps every day became my goal. It feels fantastic to walk. I feel that I become fitter. And tomorrow I'm ready for SECOND SERIES. Friday primary must belong to the past. Who knows for how long. My experience is it's not good for me these days. Second series is more balanced.

To walk 10 000 steps betters the mood. Every mood. I picked me up this afternoon to get out. It was cold so I felt resistance. With my winter coat and a scarf around my neck I felt warm and I walked downtown. At home again, I realized that I had to walk 100 more steps to meet the goal of 10 000 steps. It's ridiculous, but I walked around in my flat till I felt the vibration on my wrist. Yepeeeee....... Done.

These 10 000 steps compliment my yoga practice.

One has to pick oneself up again and again.
I'm in exploration mode and I can enjoy the ride.


A day off


Saturday is a day off. I need it.
My picture project motivated me to practice yesterday. As I'm not that happy with the pictures I took yesterday I'll redo them on Sunday.
Yesterday was Friday. To practice primary on Friday is so in my mind, I cannot stop doing it. It always becomes a nightmare. Back pain returns I don't know why. I know it will disappear when I walk again. Nevertheless, these setbacks challenge me to stay calm and not getting frustrated.
It's back bending that feels good these days. Especially on Friday I must remember this.




Utthita parsvottanasana



Utthita parsvottanasana was the next pose of the standing asanas that I wanted to document. It's a challenge to limit myself and to take a picture of only one asana. To take only one picture or two doesn't interrupt my picture that much. But to turn a practice into a shooting session does interrupt the practice and the flow. This is only one reason why I only take one picture. Another reason is that I want to give my body time to become flexible again. I want to avoid injuries. To practice with passion and committment is great, to be overzealous is dangerous. I have to play it safe these day.

I distinguish between performance practices and exercising practices. At home I'm in a learning mode. I do preparation asanas. I repeat asanas. I rest when it feels good.

Today I realized that I got stronger already. I could hold my body when I lowered it from plank pose. This makes my heart sing.

Once I was in a class and the two yoga teacher were discussing how far the feet shall be apart in utthita parsvottanasana. A student has complained, because one teacher taught her to have the feet rather close together, the other one was the opinion they should be wider away from each other.
For me this is not that important. The asanas of the standing sequence mean strong legs for me. I always check if my legs are engaged. In the above pose I think one shall also learn  to keep the chest open and not to round the back. That's why the hands are in prayer pose behind the back.

This pose used to be challenging for me. It took me years till the chin could touch the shin bone. I haven't lost this pose, but it's painful to get into it. That's why I was downtown yesterday to get a battery for my timer that allows me to set any time till the shutter clicks. The one in the camera has a 20 sec timer. This can be rather short.

My practice lasted 1 hour and 20 min. Then I was spent. My practice is very slowly. I know that I have to develop strength and flexibility slowly if I want to avoid injuries. The mind has stored that so many asanas were possible, but the body has lost the ability. I want to close this gap again.

I'm glad that I'm so disciplined. My practice gets easier with every practice that I did.

My picture project motivates me.
It motivates me to see videos of yoginis and yogis before my practice.

Prasarita padottanasana





Again my picture project motivated me to practice today. There will be 9 more shooting sessions and then I'll have a picture of every asana of the standing sequence. It's what is possible in 2017 after that long break. Especially to move into the asanas can be painful. Yet to sit on the sofa is not enough for me. I want to move, I want to practice Ashtanga yoga. 

I felt stronger today. That is I could hold my body when I lowered it from plank pose. Now I realize how fit I was one year ago. It's possible to get back to that level of fitness and flexibility, why not. 

Document it:
This is a recommendation of almost everybody who wants to learn something seriously. I start a journal only for my yoga practice.A new month has started. It's a new beginning. The focus in February is the standing asanas. 

The steps:
1. I'll take a picture of every asana
2. I'll practice with the CD by Sharath. This will help me to get back to an even flow. 
3. I'll work on some difficult vinyasas. To be a bit more precise: To get out of utkatasana is not only jumping back. It's to shift the weight of the body to the arms. The legs are bent in the air, close to the body. It's possible to hold that interim pose, which is not easy. 

I've a plan for March already. Then I'll focus on the closing sequence. It became difficult, too. That way I've still a bit more time for the middle parts of the series. 

In prasaritta padottanasana the folded hands are supposed to touch the floor. It's possible if I get an adjustment. For me it's not so important to accomplish this alone. The pose as it is now is perfect for me. One day my hands will touch the floor. Till then I'm happy with the current flexibility. I don't think that this pose needs extra attention. 



Parivrtta parsva konasana



The show must go on.

I practiced. Parivrtta Parsva Konasana was the next pose that I wanted to document. The battery of the self-timer was too low to work this morning. So I used the self-timer within the camera. Like years ago I had 20 sec from pushing the button to get into the pose.

It ashtonished me that I was able to get that fast into that pose It amazed me that I was able to do that pose at all. But I got so weak, that my body is still relatively flexible.

I realize:
- I could jump a bit wider, so that the thigh is parallel to the floor.
- Trying to move the feet apart from each other helps to keep the legs strong. It also brings automatically  the rim of my foot on the floor.
- That my hand is not relaxed is strange.

This pose is challenging. It's a deep twist combined with a balancing challenge. The shoulder is supposed to be behind the knee. When this is possible the asana becomes stable. Then it's also possible to twist even a bit more.

The standing asanas are underestimated. The goal is to build a foundation.

Strong legs is a key word.
To engage the legs important for every single asana of the standing sequence.




Back home from Berlin


Four travel days lie behind me. My yoga mat was with me during my trip to Berlin. I didn't use it. Either I thought it was too cold in the hotel room or I didn't get up on time. I have still some time to finish my picture project, that is to take a picture of the asanas of the standing sequence of Ashtanga yoga. My deadline was the 10th of February. Till the end of February the standing sequence will be my focus.

Tomorrow a new month begins. This is always like a fresh beginning.

Let's practice.

My picture project gets me going




My picture project motivates me to practice. It's difficult these days to step on the mat as I'm weak and my back hurts. I'm so weak that I cannot hold my body when I lower it after plank pose. I lie my body on the floor and from there I move into upward facing dog. Today I managed it to hold my body once. When this will become easy, I'll try to hold my body twice and so on.

My picture project is to take one picture of an asana of the Ashtanga yoga series every day. I limit myself to one asana (right and left side).  It's not that easy to limit myself. The advantage is that I give my body time to get stronger and more flexible for the poses that come next. 

My very first goal is to master again the standing asanas. I know when I've reached this goal. It is when I can follow easily the CD by Sharath. I don't strive for perfection. 

This little project ends at the 10th of February. When I can do the standing sequence with a certain flow, I'll celebrate it. 

Then comes the next project: primary. 

I love my pictures. They bring fun in my life. They motivate me to practice. Sometimes they spoil the flow of a practice. It's OK. Who cares. 



Preliminary exercises



When I practice at home I add exercises that help me to perform asanas  that are difficult for me.

I approach all the poses slowly after the break.  I remember that I had put blocks under my feet (picture 1) as a preparation exercise. Yesterday it was enough to lie on the floor. I could feel the stretch on my upper thighs. This little exercise was a perfect preparation. Bhekasana felt good.

Bhekasana is a challenging pose.
I was astonished how far I could get into the pose. But I lost strength and this helped me to stay rather flexible.

Today I start my practice with strength training.

Here is a list that helps to master asanas:

1. Find preliminary exercises.
2. Hold the asana longer than 5 breaths.
3. Repeat the asanas that you want to learn and that are difficult. Up to three repetitions seem OK for me. Each time it becomes easier.






A new approach to my yoga practice


It's Sunday today and I practiced at home. Before starting I prepared my camera. My pictures are an excellent learning tool. Filming could be even better. I feel not yet ready to film my practice that became so slow. Pain is still there. I needed about 40 min for the sun salutations and the standing asanas and a twist. I take care not to overstretch after the break. 

The break was too long, but who knows. It can be that it was the best that I could do. There is still this inflammation on the right side of my back. 
I haven't lost so much flexibility, but I got very weak. 

I used the break of my Ashtanga yoga practice to read a lot of books. When a body grows older usually it becomes weaker. Most people don't do anything against it. But if one wants to age without experiencing that life aggravates, strength training is recommended. 

Strength training also protects from injuries. It is very important. Ashtanga yoga training makes stronger, but it is not enough. I wasn't able to perform some asanas (i.e. pincha mayurasana) because I was too weak. 

If I have learned anything during the last year it is that I have to adjust the practice to my needs, to my age, to my abilities. 
Classes offer usually on practice that shall fit to all students the same way. This is simple, but dangerous. In my case it led to a serious injury, that lasts over a year already. 

Downdog is the first asana in the Ashtanga yoga practice. It's the first pose we hold 5 breaths when doing sun salutations. 

Here comes the next adjustment I do because of my age. After every pose comes a counter pose. This is relaxing and helps to balance the body. A counter pose of forward bending asanas is upward facing dog. To hold it only for one breath is not enough for me. I don't reach my limits, I cannot relax when I practice a counter pose only for one breath. I feel free to prolong the pose. 



I summarize some of my experiences:
1. Adjust the practice to your needs.
2. Cultivate a home practice.
3. Strength training is recommended and even necessary at my age.
4. Hold counter poses longer than one breath, if the body needs more time to get into a back bending after a forward bending asana i.e.. 



When the student is ready, the teachers disappear.


A friend posted this sentence on Facebook yesterday. It's her variation of the sentence: When the student is ready, the teacher appear.

After decades of practicing yoga, the teacher disappear. This fits much more to my current situation.

This doesn't mean that learning has stopped. To learn never stops. Learning happens through multiple channels, through books, online-videos, my own practice, conversations, reflections, also through teachers and practitioners. One can learn from anything. The one main learning source disappeared. It's substituted through many sources.

In former years I loved it to get attention and adjustments in yoga classes. Every tiny hint was appreciated. These days I have the feeling I heard everything already. I like not to get interrupted during my practice only when absolutely necessary.

I do miss the yoga community, the energy of a group session. I love to see all these yogis bending.
When I feel ready I'll go again to the the yoga school that I found last year. I felt welcomed there. Yet I'll begin with home practices.

In the first week of 2017 I had a cold. I felt thwarted.
The cold disappeared.
So today is my start of my yoga practice of 2017. Whatever happens is appreciated, also a single pose.

Happy new year again to everybody. Let's move.

Picture: My breakfast these days. It's one of Attila Hildmann's recipes found in his new book 'Vegan for fit 2'.

10 years of blogging


I blog 10 years already. I practice even longer Ashtanga yoga. And yoga I practice for decades. Last year I had under 100 posts. My practice was more or less interrupted due to my back injury caused by unreasonable teaching. Why did I not run away earlier? I still can't believe it that I was supposed to practice 2 and a half hour every day only because I wasn't able to do kapotasana. Each month I was a bit more frustrated. Is this the goal of Ashtanga yoga?

To restart is hard. I don't see an alternative. I'm an active person, I want to stay flexible and strong.

I know I'm not alone. There are a lot of sports invalids not only in the yoga community. I cannot turn the wheel backwards. I'll have to live with the pain. I gave up on the idea that I'll be pain free one day. I know how to release the pain: fascia massage helps. When I reflected on 2016 I asked myself what was good and what was not so good. I hesitated. Shall I judge the back issues as positive or negative? Finally I put it on the positive list as it is all better. I can sleep again, I can sit again. I can stand up. This was not possible in the beginning of the year 2016. Only walking was possible without pain. But who can walk all the time? It was an Odyssey to find a good doctor and the right treatment. A physio therapist helped me finally.
I'm sure that sooner or later I would have injured myself if I practiced re the rules in the Ashtanga yoga community. In classes no tiny bit of  variations are allowed. No individuality is allowed. Everybody has to do the same. So perhaps it's even good that I got injured now and not later. At my age the body needs longer to recover.
No complaints anymore. I'll focus on second series when I'll be able to start again. Too many forward bending asanas don't feel good right now.

Here I sit with a cold. It's impossible to practice. I feel weak, my nose and my throat need all my attention. There is snow outside. Perhaps I walk a bit. And I'm sure I'll sleep a lot. This cold is temporarily.





Happy new year



Happy new year to everybody.

We celebrated the end of 2016 in an Indian restaurant called 'Guru'. They were so kind to prepare a vegan dinner for me. We got 5 different courses. The lentil soup was a poem. I loved the mango sorbet at the end.

At midnight we were at home. I was amazed about the firework here in that tiny village. They must safe all year long for this hour, I thought.
At 1:30 am I was in bed and I woke up before the alarm clock could wake me up. I put on my clothes, had a coffee and then I got outside. I wanted to walk 10 000 steps. There is a sea not so far away. It's a beautiful place, but I knew already that I had to circle it minimum 7 times till I would have done the 10 000 steps. After the 6th round my smart phone shut down. I cursed. Should I really make the last round when I cannot count the steps? I did it.

I wonder if it makes sense to walk 90 min every day. It's probably better than sitting on the sofa all day long. But it doesn't really exhaust me. It's time consuming to reach 10 000 steps. The huge advantage is that one can walk everywhere. To be outside, to get fresh air is also wonderful. To move betters every mood.
At least my discipline muscle got trained. I wanted to walk and I did it.

We all have a cold here. I'll adjust my plans to it.

I wish everybody a wonderful start 2017.