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The funeral


One must write one's own epitaph. One cannot leave this to other people. If one is a public figure one cannot avoid that others write about the own life and the death. But most of us are not that famous. If we don't want to turn around in the grave out of irateness, I recommend taking over this task.

I wouldn't like to have my employers listed in such a speech. This would also be a a speech a bit too long. A CV that we usually write to get a job has nothing to do in such a last speech.
To mention how sad we are is so redundant. And perhaps some people are not sad. What a allegation. If someone suffered for years death might be a relief.
It was mentioned that the death person, a woman loved to do skilled manual jobs. She loved paperhanging, I heard. No single woman of this generation loved paperhanging. They did it because most families had not enough money to delegate this work. The housewives did everything out of a necessity, even paperhanging.
Lately I saw a Swiss movie (Die göttliche Ordnung). It was about womens' right to vote in Switzerland. In the 70s women were not yet allowed to vote. There was also a funeral in the movie. A priest hold the epitaph and described the dead woman as modest. It's true that this woman ended in the poor house, but not because she has been modest. She worked like hell in her own restaurant. Yet she had no bank account of her own. Her husband was a drinker and used up all the money. The story is based on facts. This woman was more or less robbed by her own husband. One of the suffragette stood up and told the truth.

Thank you.
This can be enough. Just these two words. To start with a list why one was thankful is a trap. One always forgets something.
Thank you and inviting the guests to a funeral feast. Enough.

After the speech the husband of the dead person stood up, went to the coffin and knocked hard on it. First he took his fist, then he threw his head against the coffin. Hard. Again and again.
Then he left the hall and headed for the bench in front of the mortuary chapel. He took off his glasses and dried his tears.

Sandwiches and cakes were offered later.

At night we arrived in Munich.


Parties, funerals


Two parties and one funeral in one week. This is going to be an intensive week. One party was yesterday, the other one is today. There is always something to celebrate: birthdays, anniversaries. The funeral is in Monday.

When getting older funerals become more often. Friends, relatives, neighbors leave us forever. A funeral is an opportunity to meet the friends and relatives, perhaps also neighbors of the person who passed away.
We don't have a guarantee, that our last time on earth is pain free. There are pills, yes, but they have often side effects that are a burden, too. Some pain killers are so strong that the person who takes them gets into a delirium. Pain killers can kill all other sensations, too. My friend A who passed away in March told me, that the digestion is not working anymore, when she takes pain killers. My friend had 2 very awful last days after a long illness, lasting years. The woman who passed away a few days ago (a distant relative) suffered a week. She wanted to finish her life earlier so bad was the pain. Death can become a relief.

Death is a taboo in our society. It seems to me that we all think we live forever. Funerals are reminders for me that also my life is limited. It helps to make wise decisions in daily life. How to spend the remaining time is a good question. There is an end to everything.  Is it really worth the time being angry about more difficult contemporaries. Is it really worth the time to complain. Isn't it more fun to be friendly.

Often life aggravates when people get older I'm convinced that a daily yoga practice can help to stay healthy and fit much longer than without yoga. But who knows our fate?

Yoga also means to exercise mental skills. They are evenly important and can improve life as well: being content, being relaxed also in difficult life situations, exercising concentration is as useful as being able to reach the toes when bending forward.

Today is a yoga free day and party time. Life must be celebrated.

Patience


Being patient is a mental skill, that we can exercise. I need a lot of patience these days. Also primary is no more easy for me, mainly because I got weak. Performing the asanas is surprisingly good, performing the vinyasas is difficult.

Practicing with as less back pain as possible is what matters these days. That meant today that I had to leave out all the asanas of the closing sequence. I sat down in lotus pose at the end and was thankful that I practiced.

The picture is from today. I took it at the end of my practice.

The practice tells me what shall be the focus next time. It is the vinyasas. I've a lot of exercises that i can integrate. Pictures will come.

Connected with the online community


What I learned from my back injury is that it's very important to practice at home. Of course it's necessary to go to a yoga class if one has done no yoga at all. Yet the earlier one establishes a home practice the better it is.
The knowledge on didactic, how to learn an asana, does not exist in most classes. Getting pressed forcefully into an asana is the main method. Rules got stricter and stricter over time in the Ashtanga yoga community. Variations are not allowed, preparation asanas are not allowed. Every day I should do the same routine, because one asanas was not perfect enough. This was not my view, but the view of a teacher. This all has nothing to do with one teacher, it is how the authorized teacher shall teach. Two and a half hours I practiced every day. The success didn't come.

Yet there is a very supportive worldwide community. Here I find my teacher. One of them is Brian Aganad. I subscribed to his newsletter. Here is a quote by him: "But this is what I discovered: I went away for probably like 4 months or so to learn all the pieces and when I came back, I saw for the most part everyone in the room was more or less in the exact same place."

It can be even worse. I got injured. Not only that I didn't 'master' a single asana after more than 2 years, many asanas were taken away from me. After two years I got injured. I still suffer from it. This happened after more than a decade of yoga practice. My injury happened at the end of 2016.

To develop discipline might be even the easy part. I loved to meet people, I had fun. I loved to socialize. It's great to feel part of a group with like-minded people.

Back to Brian. I linked to his YouTube channel. He recommended to practice primary backwards in one of his last letters. This is what I want to try today. I'll also add his strength training exercises, too. Jumping through is possible, also for me.

I alter primary with second series these days. To alter the series feels good. To practice primary AND second series till kapotasana is too much for every day. I shake my head: Why haven't I seen this earlier.

(A bit much complaining in that blog post. Who cares. It's also meant to be a warning.)

Thank you!


What a surprise. Today I got a cheque by Amazon.com. Thank you to all the readers who still buy things at amazon via my blog! It's very much appreciated!

My daily practices were interrupted because of a cold and because of a trip. I regretted this as I had so much swing and motivation.

I'm at home again and practiced again this morning. Another new start. I love the asanas. I added 10 minutes of meditation today. Wonderful. I got calmer and calmer with every breath.

I'm still shocked how weak I became. I tried a pose this evening that was easy a few years ago. See picture. I tried to lift up my body, so that all the weight would be on my hands. My arms were not strong enough to do this. I lost also core strength. I was in that pose and I couldn't move upwards. This was even funny.

Tomorrow I'll practice primary again. I can't wait........

Second series yesterday, primary today


Yesterday I practiced 90 minutes Ashtanga yoga in the morning before breakfast.
Today I was in the afternoon on the mat. Primary was on the schedule.

I got weak, so weak. I'm still rather flexible. My main focus is to practice modest and not to create back pain again because I'm too ambitious.

My diagnosis now is that I've chronic back pain. I read a book by Jonathan Kuttner and joined his Facebook group. I knew at once that I was on a right track. My pain has no cause anymore. In the meantime after more than a year all injures should be healed. There is nothing anymore that could cause this pain. My mind has learned to create pain as a cautious measure.
It's possible to unlearn this. Breathing plays an important role. It helps me almost immediately.

I was recommended to keep practicing, but modest. The practice shall not bring back the pain as usual.

The last two practices were rather good. At once I'm optimistic. Perhaps I've left this pain chapter behind me, I think. Realistic is to be patient.

Also yesterday was a very exhausting day. I discarded books again. It's hard work to move all these books. Nevertheless all went well. It was amazing and a wonderful surprise.

Tomorrow is my focus on back bending.
I'm curious what will be possible.

Discarding things


Saturday is a rest day. That is it's a yoga free day. Psychologically this is important. There is a start and an end. To practice 6 day in a row seems doable. To practice without breaks for the rest of my life seems crazy. I have the feeling to be refreshed after one day off.

More important for me is that I have time to do all that stuff that gets postponed during the week.

We discarded things today, mainly books. This huge staple of discarded books is not yet out of the house. When the books are gone the task is finished. When I give books to friends I use to say: I'll never take anything back.

When I read a book and when I liked it I google the author and pin a picture of her or him in an album in Pinterest. About two weeks ago I was in Santiago de Compostela. I saw all these pilgrims and got interested in all these reports and diaries that were created during the pilgrimage. I read some of these books. They are not all of good quality. Each book has another focus. Everybody experiences something else. I feel good informed now about the path to Santiago without having been there.

What does the path tell me, many ask. What can I learn? One man wrote that he would never be able to walk these 800 km, but to walk to the next hostel and might it be 8 walking hours away, seems possible.
I experienced something similar in yoga. One breath at a time is the open secret to make it through a series.
Whatever one does there are basic tips that help in any discipline. One must find them and live accordingly.

Many many pilgrims pack too many things. When we were at the airport I put my luggage on the flat conveyor to get it delivered to Munich. I saw that I had 14 kg. This was the weight many pilgrims have in their rucksacks. After one day they have blisters, they are exhausted. Only 15% arrive Santiago. Every year about 10 pilgrims die on the path. Many are simply not prepared. Many don't exercise in advance. They don't listen to the advice from more experienced pilgrims. One cannot carry more than 10% of the own body weight, rather less than more.

Back to my books. I save a picture of the author on Pinterest when I've read a bood. I add the title of the book that I read from this author. It reminds me of the author. When I want to read the book again, I have to buy it again. This is so much cheaper to pay rent for it and to clean it again and again. This album also gives me ideas what I want to read next. Creating these albums helps me to let go of all these books.

The life style of a yogi is simple. I love space. Things have the bad habit to steal my time. They need to get organised, cleaned and so on. Less is more.

Today I created room. I cleaned, dusted huge areas of the book shelf.

I'm ready for a yoga practice tomorrow.




It's late


It's late, it's Friday night.

I neglected my blog, because I thought I don't have to write a lot about yoga. Fact is, I practice, then my back pain returns, I stop with yoga, after a while I feel better, I start again....

From time to time I get a comment from readers who follow my blog for years. This touches me a lot. It motivates me also to keep writing. Life is so interesting. This blog needn't to be about yoga all the time.

Time to go to bed. I had bought new sheets lately. Tonight I changed the sheets. Everything is white now. To jump in a fresh bed with new sheets is great. It's as if one sleeps among white clouds.

Tomorrow more......




A new month - time to refresh the resolutions


My resolutions these days are practicing daily. A short modest practice will do. It's difficult not to go to the limits every day. My goal is to avoid pain. Doing less is better than going through a series that creates pain afterwards. My body must unlearn to feel pain. I want to interrupt the circle that is: I practice, pain comes either already during the practice or afterwards, I stop practicing, pain fades away, I practice again, pain returns, I stop practicing, pain fades away, I practice again and so on.............Adjustments are necessary. I was very creative.
After my yoga practice I must be able to take steps without pain. If I have to pull myself upstairs I did too much.

Today I practiced half primary. It felt exhausted enough. My focus is the vinyasas. I see the importance to build strength to protect my joints.

The closing sequence is very short these days. It's lotus pose. It's remembering myself that I have very good reasons to be content with my life and my yoga practice, too.

I'll find time to do pranayama today. Deep breathing calms the mind. Deep breathing gives the message that all is OK. There is no reason for worrying.

The sun is shining......... Time to go out.

Flexibility


Flexibility has many faces.

Often we mean being able to perform crazy asanas when we speak about flexibility.

One of my favorite quotes by P. Jois is surely: Body not stiff, mind stiff.
Flexibility can also mean to free the thinking from limiting patterns. To develop the attitude that anything can be possible is the right direction.

We can be flexible while breaking rules.

It's possible to vary the speed of the practice. Asanas can be altered. This all means being flexible.

Due to my lower back pain I have to be very flexible. I think I know the steps to move out of this experience. It's bad advice these days to search for the limits day in day out. Doing less, but on a regular basis is better. My last practice two days ago took this into consideration. It felt good. I must alter my practice in a way that there is almost no pain.

My mind must learn again that a yoga practice feels good.
My mind must unlearn that a yoga practice comes with pain. This is a huge challenge. I'm ready for it.

Being flexible can also mean to give on one day 180% and to take it easy the other day.

I start seeing that this dead end road that I'm in has lessons to learn. I'm more and more in peace that I'll practice at home. I miss the community, but these days yoga classes are too regularized, which is the opposite from flexibility. My goal is to be flexible, to expand my possibilities in a reasonable way.

Before writing this I had opened Pinterest. One can get the impression that yoga only serves one goal and that is to get a hot body. This is a side effect. Never forget that yoga can bring so much more. Yoga can bring peace of mind.



The July challenge



Kino's July challenge pushes me forward. There are poses that I usually omit because of my back issues, i.e. navasana. As it is part of the series, I explored what was possible. How to get into this asana had to be altered. But look, it's possible.
Setu bandhasana will be the next huge challenge. It seems impossible these days. I got too weak. But I'll explore my possibilities. I'll approach this asana open-minded.
I'm more than happy that I could do supta kurmasana and all the other asanas, too.

Every second day I practice primary to get stronger again. I get stronger every day. It's a stony way back, but at least there is a path.

I changed the sentence 'Don't give up' to 'Keep practicing'. It's positive. The mind only understands positive messages. And I keep practicing. I can harvest the first fruit.

For those who want to follow the challenge on Instagram, here is the link.

July challenge


It's a huge fun to see every day all the yoginis on Instagram. They all follow Kino's #July challenge. We became a worldwide community.

It's motivating to feel part of such a lovely group of practitioners. Many practice alone.

So also today I practiced primary. I work on the vinyasas. That's what Ashtanga yoga makes so special. I have the feeling I get closer to jump through without touching the floor.

Beside yoga I've a lot of fun with my repaired bicycle. I bought a helmet to feel safe. I made a promise to myself to drive slowly. I don't want to have an accident. It became rather dangerous to drive as there are so many wild bicycle drivers on the road.

Summer time is wonderful.

Omstars


Every morning before my Ashtanga yoga practice I watch a video on www.omstars.com.
It's very inspiring and very motivating.

Omstars is Kino's TV channel. She and other yoginis like Laruga upload tutorials. Even after 12 years of Ashtanga yoga practice I learn a lot. One of Kino's strength is that she can analyse the asanas. She learned a lot about didactic. She can also explain how to perform an asana step by step. She has no tabus: If a block makes an asana safe, why not using one. To practice safe is important for her.

I am enthusiastic and the 14 USD per month are really worth it.

A few days ago I listened to the Marichyasana tutorial. I'm so sure that what I learned will protect my back. I knew at once that it makes sense what she said. The foot of the bent leg is not placed next to the stretched leg. It's also not placed so far outside that the outer rim of the foot is in line with the body. The foot is in the middle of the thigh. This is the most natural movement for the knee. There is also no pressure on the lower back that way.

This morning I watched a tutorial about the first sitting asanas of primary. It was a reminder of the bandhas. Engaging the abdomen protects the lower back. Each time when I felt back pain this morning I engaged my muscles even a bit more.

Even though the practice of Kino is very advanced, she doesn't expect perfection from students. Whatever is possible this can be done. Correctly. She shows very easy vinyasas.

This was my highlight today. I get closer and closer to the perfect jump through and jump back movement.

This post doesn't end with a happy end. At the end of my practice, out of the blue, the pain got awful again. Perhaps shoulder stand was the reason. Whatever. I had to use my fascia roll. I walked around. I took a shower. Here we go. I feel excellent again.

I have to and I will work on strong abdomen.

Happy weekend.