Yesterday I practiced 90 minutes Ashtanga yoga in the morning before breakfast. Today I was in the afternoon on the mat. Primary was on the schedule.
I got weak, so weak. I'm still rather flexible. My main focus is to practice modest and not to create back pain again because I'm too ambitious.
My diagnosis now is that I've chronic back pain. I read a book by Jonathan Kuttner and joined his Facebook group. I knew at once that I was on a right track. My pain has no cause anymore. In the meantime after more than a year all injures should be healed. There is nothing anymore that could cause this pain. My mind has learned to create pain as a cautious measure. It's possible to unlearn this. Breathing plays an important role. It helps me almost immediately.
I was recommended to keep practicing, but modest. The practice shall not bring back the pain as usual.
The last two practices were rather good. At once I'm optimistic. Perhaps I've left this pain chapter behind me, I think. Realistic is to be patient.
Also yesterday was a very exhausting day. I discarded books again. It's hard work to move all these books. Nevertheless all went well. It was amazing and a wonderful surprise.
Tomorrow is my focus on back bending. I'm curious what will be possible.
Saturday is a rest day. That is it's a yoga free day. Psychologically this is important. There is a start and an end. To practice 6 day in a row seems doable. To practice without breaks for the rest of my life seems crazy. I have the feeling to be refreshed after one day off.
More important for me is that I have time to do all that stuff that gets postponed during the week.
We discarded things today, mainly books. This huge staple of discarded books is not yet out of the house. When the books are gone the task is finished. When I give books to friends I use to say: I'll never take anything back.
When I read a book and when I liked it I google the author and pin a picture of her or him in an album in Pinterest. About two weeks ago I was in Santiago de Compostela. I saw all these pilgrims and got interested in all these reports and diaries that were created during the pilgrimage. I read some of these books. They are not all of good quality. Each book has another focus. Everybody experiences something else. I feel good informed now about the path to Santiago without having been there.
What does the path tell me, many ask. What can I learn? One man wrote that he would never be able to walk these 800 km, but to walk to the next hostel and might it be 8 walking hours away, seems possible. I experienced something similar in yoga. One breath at a time is the open secret to make it through a series. Whatever one does there are basic tips that help in any discipline. One must find them and live accordingly.
Many many pilgrims pack too many things. When we were at the airport I put my luggage on the flat conveyor to get it delivered to Munich. I saw that I had 14 kg. This was the weight many pilgrims have in their rucksacks. After one day they have blisters, they are exhausted. Only 15% arrive Santiago. Every year about 10 pilgrims die on the path. Many are simply not prepared. Many don't exercise in advance. They don't listen to the advice from more experienced pilgrims. One cannot carry more than 10% of the own body weight, rather less than more.
Back to my books. I save a picture of the author on Pinterest when I've read a bood. I add the title of the book that I read from this author. It reminds me of the author. When I want to read the book again, I have to buy it again. This is so much cheaper to pay rent for it and to clean it again and again. This album also gives me ideas what I want to read next. Creating these albums helps me to let go of all these books.
The life style of a yogi is simple. I love space. Things have the bad habit to steal my time. They need to get organised, cleaned and so on. Less is more.
Today I created room. I cleaned, dusted huge areas of the book shelf.
I neglected my blog, because I thought I don't have to write a lot about yoga. Fact is, I practice, then my back pain returns, I stop with yoga, after a while I feel better, I start again....
From time to time I get a comment from readers who follow my blog for years. This touches me a lot. It motivates me also to keep writing. Life is so interesting. This blog needn't to be about yoga all the time.
Time to go to bed. I had bought new sheets lately. Tonight I changed the sheets. Everything is white now. To jump in a fresh bed with new sheets is great. It's as if one sleeps among white clouds.
My resolutions these days are practicing daily. A short modest practice will do. It's difficult not to go to the limits every day. My goal is to avoid pain. Doing less is better than going through a series that creates pain afterwards. My body must unlearn to feel pain. I want to interrupt the circle that is: I practice, pain comes either already during the practice or afterwards, I stop practicing, pain fades away, I practice again, pain returns, I stop practicing, pain fades away, I practice again and so on.............Adjustments are necessary. I was very creative. After my yoga practice I must be able to take steps without pain. If I have to pull myself upstairs I did too much.
Today I practiced half primary. It felt exhausted enough. My focus is the vinyasas. I see the importance to build strength to protect my joints.
The closing sequence is very short these days. It's lotus pose. It's remembering myself that I have very good reasons to be content with my life and my yoga practice, too.
I'll find time to do pranayama today. Deep breathing calms the mind. Deep breathing gives the message that all is OK. There is no reason for worrying.
Often we mean being able to perform crazy asanas when we speak about flexibility.
One of my favorite quotes by P. Jois is surely: Body not stiff, mind stiff. Flexibility can also mean to free the thinking from limiting patterns. To develop the attitude that anything can be possible is the right direction.
We can be flexible while breaking rules.
It's possible to vary the speed of the practice. Asanas can be altered. This all means being flexible.
Due to my lower back pain I have to be very flexible. I think I know the steps to move out of this experience. It's bad advice these days to search for the limits day in day out. Doing less, but on a regular basis is better. My last practice two days ago took this into consideration. It felt good. I must alter my practice in a way that there is almost no pain.
My mind must learn again that a yoga practice feels good. My mind must unlearn that a yoga practice comes with pain. This is a huge challenge. I'm ready for it.
Being flexible can also mean to give on one day 180% and to take it easy the other day.
I start seeing that this dead end road that I'm in has lessons to learn. I'm more and more in peace that I'll practice at home. I miss the community, but these days yoga classes are too regularized, which is the opposite from flexibility. My goal is to be flexible, to expand my possibilities in a reasonable way.
Before writing this I had opened Pinterest. One can get the impression that yoga only serves one goal and that is to get a hot body. This is a side effect. Never forget that yoga can bring so much more. Yoga can bring peace of mind.
Kino's July challenge pushes me forward. There are poses that I usually omit because of my back issues, i.e. navasana. As it is part of the series, I explored what was possible. How to get into this asana had to be altered. But look, it's possible. Setu bandhasana will be the next huge challenge. It seems impossible these days. I got too weak. But I'll explore my possibilities. I'll approach this asana open-minded. I'm more than happy that I could do supta kurmasana and all the other asanas, too.
Every second day I practice primary to get stronger again. I get stronger every day. It's a stony way back, but at least there is a path.
I changed the sentence 'Don't give up' to 'Keep practicing'. It's positive. The mind only understands positive messages. And I keep practicing. I can harvest the first fruit.
For those who want to follow the challenge on Instagram, here is the link.
It's a huge fun to see every day all the yoginis on Instagram. They all follow Kino's #July challenge. We became a worldwide community.
It's motivating to feel part of such a lovely group of practitioners. Many practice alone.
So also today I practiced primary. I work on the vinyasas. That's what Ashtanga yoga makes so special. I have the feeling I get closer to jump through without touching the floor.
Beside yoga I've a lot of fun with my repaired bicycle. I bought a helmet to feel safe. I made a promise to myself to drive slowly. I don't want to have an accident. It became rather dangerous to drive as there are so many wild bicycle drivers on the road.
Every morning before my Ashtanga yoga practice I watch a video on www.omstars.com. It's very inspiring and very motivating.
Omstars is Kino's TV channel. She and other yoginis like Laruga upload tutorials. Even after 12 years of Ashtanga yoga practice I learn a lot. One of Kino's strength is that she can analyse the asanas. She learned a lot about didactic. She can also explain how to perform an asana step by step. She has no tabus: If a block makes an asana safe, why not using one. To practice safe is important for her.
I am enthusiastic and the 14 USD per month are really worth it.
A few days ago I listened to the Marichyasana tutorial. I'm so sure that what I learned will protect my back. I knew at once that it makes sense what she said. The foot of the bent leg is not placed next to the stretched leg. It's also not placed so far outside that the outer rim of the foot is in line with the body. The foot is in the middle of the thigh. This is the most natural movement for the knee. There is also no pressure on the lower back that way.
This morning I watched a tutorial about the first sitting asanas of primary. It was a reminder of the bandhas. Engaging the abdomen protects the lower back. Each time when I felt back pain this morning I engaged my muscles even a bit more.
Even though the practice of Kino is very advanced, she doesn't expect perfection from students. Whatever is possible this can be done. Correctly. She shows very easy vinyasas.
This was my highlight today. I get closer and closer to the perfect jump through and jump back movement.
This post doesn't end with a happy end. At the end of my practice, out of the blue, the pain got awful again. Perhaps shoulder stand was the reason. Whatever. I had to use my fascia roll. I walked around. I took a shower. Here we go. I feel excellent again.
The picture shows my most relaxing posture when back pain is felt.
Today I had to relax only twice in that pose. I practiced primary this morning. I motivate myself with videos from omstar.com, Kino's TV channel. Having seen a video makes unstoppable. I have to practice.
It's amazing how flexible I am. Even supta kurmasana was possible. Many asanas also tell me that I have the weight that allows these challenging postures.
There were also asanas that I couldn't perform: - Purvottanasana and setu bandhasana. Both asanas require that the back is engaged. After all these forward bending asanas this is impossible. - I don't try urdhva dhanurasana. It's a torture to even try it after all the forward bending asanas. It's added later in history. It's an advanced back bending pose that comes out of nowhere. There is no preparation, nothing. Exercise smart, I think. - Shoulder stand is impossible. To get out of the pose triggers horror. I have to fall out of the pose. This is an uncontrolled movement, that scares me a lot. How to fall out of the pose is the question. I leave it out. One day it will return, then I'll welcome this pose again. - The vinyasas are lost, I don't care. To get stronger again takes time. I give my best. I lift myself up again and again.
So 4 asanas were not possible, BUT all the other challenging asanas were possible. I was able to perform all the core asanas: baddha konasana, supta kurmasana, marichyasana D and garbha pindasaana. This is good.
Nevertheless, I won' t forget to add pranayama to my practice. I don't want to sit and breathe and meditate right after the asana practice. I want to shower first. It feels better. I want to sit on a blanket and not on a sticky mat.
Walking around and the pose on the picture are most relaxing for me. They have the effect of a pain killer. They probably take away the cramp in the muscle. What exact happens in my body is still a secret.
A brand new week has started. Wonderful.
By the way, I'm also on Instagram and flickr. If you like to see me levitating, please have a look.
A tiny wrong movement and I have the hell on earth. The faster I can relieve the muscle cramp, the faster I escape from this hell called lower back pain. Yet this is sometimes a challenge. What luck that this lower back pain is not permanent.
I practiced. It started wonderful. I felt flexible, I was focused. To get from a back bending asana like ustrasana to a counter pose seems to be difficult. My back gets confused and this was it then. My timer is set. I want to be 90 minutes on the mat no matter what happens. I could continue after this sudden shock pain. Twists always feel good. They released my muscles. I could even do mayurasana. I finished my yoga practice with padmasana, left leg first to balance my body again. I have a list now of activities that help when this sudden pain arises: 1. walking around (to get out of an asana and to stand up can be challenging) 2. twists 3. rolling on the foam roll (It's important to have it handy.) 4. baddha konasana 5. Engaging the abdomen and bandhas 6. a shower (afterward)
Here I sit in paradise again. Pain is gone.
The experience from this morning strengthens my opinion that I can stabilize this SI joint when I do strength training. My Monday morning will start with Day 1 of strength training. It's the third start.
My SI joint is not blocked, it's misplaced. The right terminology helps to understand what happened, it also points at possible healing methods.
If one speaks of a blocked SI joint, one might think: OK, then I go to a chiropractor. He/she makes a jerky movement with my body and everything will be OK. The joint will be in place again, unblocked so to say. Yet this is not the case. An SI joint cannot be blocked.
An SI joint can be misplaced. This might be the cause for lower back pain on the right or left side of the back. Some have pain on both sides. The pain comes from another source. The muscles get cramped around this joint. To release these muscles helps but only for a while. The cause, the misplaced SI joint is still misplaced.
Why can an SI joint be misplaced? There are many reasons, I think it can be helpful if we understand the why. 1. Pregnant women often have lower back pain. The hips open during the pregnancy. This can cause a lot of pressure on the SI joint. After the pregnancy the body can adjust itself. Back pain disappears. 2. Sitting all day long in a wrong position might be a reason for a misplaced SI joint.To move more, to sit correctly can be a solution. 3. Too much weight on the body can be another cause. Many people are overweight these days. It can put too much pressure on these tiny joints at the end of the spine. To lose weight might help. Others lift weight. This might lead to the same issues for the same reasons. I consider weight lifting not as healthy. 4. Imbalanced and overstretched ligaments around the joint is another reason. This might be the cause for yoga practitioners. Too hard adjustments or one-sided poses can cause this pain in the long run. I consider it wrong that I put always the left leg first behind my head in supta kurmasana. I was asked to take the right leg first in padmasana. Also here I think it's better to alter the legs to keep the body in balance.
The reason why the SI joint is misplaced can point at healing methods. It can be to lose weight, it can be to give up weight lifting. It can be that major life style changes could be a solution. Most people sit too much. How can I heal my misplaced SI joint? What does not help: 1. Pain killer only helps to be pain free for a limited time. Family doctors give pills, orthopedist give injections. Finally it's the same superficial treatment. I don't say that it cannot help sometimes. 2. To stop Ashtanga yoga is also only a solution for a short period of time. Soon I'll get issues because of inactivity, stiffness and weakness.
What can I do? I think I have to do strength training. Strong abdomen support the back. A few days back I found a video by a woman who had SI joint related pain and became pain free after having found exercises that strengthened her hip muscles.
During my practice today I took care to engage the abdomen. I was astonished what was possible. Yet at the end nothing was possible anymore. How to get into the shower, I wondered. It was difficult to put off the yoga clothes. Finally the hot water and then the cold water calmed my back. I feel good again. The pain is volatile.
