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Experimenting


Yesterday I experimented. I wanted to find exercises that might prepare kapotasana. I used the chair on the picture and also an Iyengar chair. Both have to large seats for my body. It also hurts to lie on them, also when I cover them with blankets. It feels unstable to lie on them, there is no resistance.

It's more useful to get on the knees and to walk down the wall with the hands. It makes more sense to repeat this exercise or to stay longer in that pose than to lie over a chair.

I know other preparation exercises. Hanumanasana is such an asana. It stretches the front of the hips. Being able to do hanumanasana enlarges the flexibility enormously.

Second series has 11 back bending asanas, dhanurasana included. They build up on each other. I'm searching for asanas that prepare the body for even deeper back bending asanas.

After all these years filled with forward bending asanas I love to bend backwards.


Learning has revolutionized



Today is Wednesday and I'll practice primary again. That is I'll work on strength again, I'll work on the vinyasas. I'll do extra exercises if necessary. I'll omit exercises. My back is still not 100% OK, but I'm on the right track. When pain is felt I switch from an ambitious attitude to a take it easy attitude.

Learning has changed a lot due to the Internet. Brian Aganad is also an online teacher. I had mentioned him already in one of my last posts. He offers online classes. This is rather new and very good. He corrects his students online. That is one sends a video and he analysis the movement and asanas. This allows him to give further tips. Perhaps the technique is not correct, perhaps strength is needed. It's difficult to analyze oneself. There is always a blind spot. I can be wrong, but this is what I understood when I read about his classes.

If my back was OK, I'd have joined. It's even less expensive than going to yoga classes anywhere. I don't give away the responsibility to a yoga teacher who has different interests like me. Yoga teacher usually want to teach 'traditionally', that is no extra exercise. no props, and so on. I was pressed forcefully in an asana often enough and this is the main method in Ashtanga yoga classes. The community needs more teacher who have a clue on didactic. To learn an asana the right way can make a difference. To learn asanas or vinyasas correctly can even avoid injuries.

This back injury gave my practice a new direction.

The funeral


One must write one's own epitaph. One cannot leave this to other people. If one is a public figure one cannot avoid that others write about the own life and the death. But most of us are not that famous. If we don't want to turn around in the grave out of irateness, I recommend taking over this task.

I wouldn't like to have my employers listed in such a speech. This would also be a a speech a bit too long. A CV that we usually write to get a job has nothing to do in such a last speech.
To mention how sad we are is so redundant. And perhaps some people are not sad. What a allegation. If someone suffered for years death might be a relief.
It was mentioned that the death person, a woman loved to do skilled manual jobs. She loved paperhanging, I heard. No single woman of this generation loved paperhanging. They did it because most families had not enough money to delegate this work. The housewives did everything out of a necessity, even paperhanging.
Lately I saw a Swiss movie (Die göttliche Ordnung). It was about womens' right to vote in Switzerland. In the 70s women were not yet allowed to vote. There was also a funeral in the movie. A priest hold the epitaph and described the dead woman as modest. It's true that this woman ended in the poor house, but not because she has been modest. She worked like hell in her own restaurant. Yet she had no bank account of her own. Her husband was a drinker and used up all the money. The story is based on facts. This woman was more or less robbed by her own husband. One of the suffragette stood up and told the truth.

Thank you.
This can be enough. Just these two words. To start with a list why one was thankful is a trap. One always forgets something.
Thank you and inviting the guests to a funeral feast. Enough.

After the speech the husband of the dead person stood up, went to the coffin and knocked hard on it. First he took his fist, then he threw his head against the coffin. Hard. Again and again.
Then he left the hall and headed for the bench in front of the mortuary chapel. He took off his glasses and dried his tears.

Sandwiches and cakes were offered later.

At night we arrived in Munich.


Parties, funerals


Two parties and one funeral in one week. This is going to be an intensive week. One party was yesterday, the other one is today. There is always something to celebrate: birthdays, anniversaries. The funeral is in Monday.

When getting older funerals become more often. Friends, relatives, neighbors leave us forever. A funeral is an opportunity to meet the friends and relatives, perhaps also neighbors of the person who passed away.
We don't have a guarantee, that our last time on earth is pain free. There are pills, yes, but they have often side effects that are a burden, too. Some pain killers are so strong that the person who takes them gets into a delirium. Pain killers can kill all other sensations, too. My friend A who passed away in March told me, that the digestion is not working anymore, when she takes pain killers. My friend had 2 very awful last days after a long illness, lasting years. The woman who passed away a few days ago (a distant relative) suffered a week. She wanted to finish her life earlier so bad was the pain. Death can become a relief.

Death is a taboo in our society. It seems to me that we all think we live forever. Funerals are reminders for me that also my life is limited. It helps to make wise decisions in daily life. How to spend the remaining time is a good question. There is an end to everything.  Is it really worth the time being angry about more difficult contemporaries. Is it really worth the time to complain. Isn't it more fun to be friendly.

Often life aggravates when people get older I'm convinced that a daily yoga practice can help to stay healthy and fit much longer than without yoga. But who knows our fate?

Yoga also means to exercise mental skills. They are evenly important and can improve life as well: being content, being relaxed also in difficult life situations, exercising concentration is as useful as being able to reach the toes when bending forward.

Today is a yoga free day and party time. Life must be celebrated.

Patience


Being patient is a mental skill, that we can exercise. I need a lot of patience these days. Also primary is no more easy for me, mainly because I got weak. Performing the asanas is surprisingly good, performing the vinyasas is difficult.

Practicing with as less back pain as possible is what matters these days. That meant today that I had to leave out all the asanas of the closing sequence. I sat down in lotus pose at the end and was thankful that I practiced.

The picture is from today. I took it at the end of my practice.

The practice tells me what shall be the focus next time. It is the vinyasas. I've a lot of exercises that i can integrate. Pictures will come.

Connected with the online community


What I learned from my back injury is that it's very important to practice at home. Of course it's necessary to go to a yoga class if one has done no yoga at all. Yet the earlier one establishes a home practice the better it is.
The knowledge on didactic, how to learn an asana, does not exist in most classes. Getting pressed forcefully into an asana is the main method. Rules got stricter and stricter over time in the Ashtanga yoga community. Variations are not allowed, preparation asanas are not allowed. Every day I should do the same routine, because one asanas was not perfect enough. This was not my view, but the view of a teacher. This all has nothing to do with one teacher, it is how the authorized teacher shall teach. Two and a half hours I practiced every day. The success didn't come.

Yet there is a very supportive worldwide community. Here I find my teacher. One of them is Brian Aganad. I subscribed to his newsletter. Here is a quote by him: "But this is what I discovered: I went away for probably like 4 months or so to learn all the pieces and when I came back, I saw for the most part everyone in the room was more or less in the exact same place."

It can be even worse. I got injured. Not only that I didn't 'master' a single asana after more than 2 years, many asanas were taken away from me. After two years I got injured. I still suffer from it. This happened after more than a decade of yoga practice. My injury happened at the end of 2016.

To develop discipline might be even the easy part. I loved to meet people, I had fun. I loved to socialize. It's great to feel part of a group with like-minded people.

Back to Brian. I linked to his YouTube channel. He recommended to practice primary backwards in one of his last letters. This is what I want to try today. I'll also add his strength training exercises, too. Jumping through is possible, also for me.

I alter primary with second series these days. To alter the series feels good. To practice primary AND second series till kapotasana is too much for every day. I shake my head: Why haven't I seen this earlier.

(A bit much complaining in that blog post. Who cares. It's also meant to be a warning.)

Thank you!


What a surprise. Today I got a cheque by Amazon.com. Thank you to all the readers who still buy things at amazon via my blog! It's very much appreciated!

My daily practices were interrupted because of a cold and because of a trip. I regretted this as I had so much swing and motivation.

I'm at home again and practiced again this morning. Another new start. I love the asanas. I added 10 minutes of meditation today. Wonderful. I got calmer and calmer with every breath.

I'm still shocked how weak I became. I tried a pose this evening that was easy a few years ago. See picture. I tried to lift up my body, so that all the weight would be on my hands. My arms were not strong enough to do this. I lost also core strength. I was in that pose and I couldn't move upwards. This was even funny.

Tomorrow I'll practice primary again. I can't wait........

Second series yesterday, primary today


Yesterday I practiced 90 minutes Ashtanga yoga in the morning before breakfast.
Today I was in the afternoon on the mat. Primary was on the schedule.

I got weak, so weak. I'm still rather flexible. My main focus is to practice modest and not to create back pain again because I'm too ambitious.

My diagnosis now is that I've chronic back pain. I read a book by Jonathan Kuttner and joined his Facebook group. I knew at once that I was on a right track. My pain has no cause anymore. In the meantime after more than a year all injures should be healed. There is nothing anymore that could cause this pain. My mind has learned to create pain as a cautious measure.
It's possible to unlearn this. Breathing plays an important role. It helps me almost immediately.

I was recommended to keep practicing, but modest. The practice shall not bring back the pain as usual.

The last two practices were rather good. At once I'm optimistic. Perhaps I've left this pain chapter behind me, I think. Realistic is to be patient.

Also yesterday was a very exhausting day. I discarded books again. It's hard work to move all these books. Nevertheless all went well. It was amazing and a wonderful surprise.

Tomorrow is my focus on back bending.
I'm curious what will be possible.

Discarding things


Saturday is a rest day. That is it's a yoga free day. Psychologically this is important. There is a start and an end. To practice 6 day in a row seems doable. To practice without breaks for the rest of my life seems crazy. I have the feeling to be refreshed after one day off.

More important for me is that I have time to do all that stuff that gets postponed during the week.

We discarded things today, mainly books. This huge staple of discarded books is not yet out of the house. When the books are gone the task is finished. When I give books to friends I use to say: I'll never take anything back.

When I read a book and when I liked it I google the author and pin a picture of her or him in an album in Pinterest. About two weeks ago I was in Santiago de Compostela. I saw all these pilgrims and got interested in all these reports and diaries that were created during the pilgrimage. I read some of these books. They are not all of good quality. Each book has another focus. Everybody experiences something else. I feel good informed now about the path to Santiago without having been there.

What does the path tell me, many ask. What can I learn? One man wrote that he would never be able to walk these 800 km, but to walk to the next hostel and might it be 8 walking hours away, seems possible.
I experienced something similar in yoga. One breath at a time is the open secret to make it through a series.
Whatever one does there are basic tips that help in any discipline. One must find them and live accordingly.

Many many pilgrims pack too many things. When we were at the airport I put my luggage on the flat conveyor to get it delivered to Munich. I saw that I had 14 kg. This was the weight many pilgrims have in their rucksacks. After one day they have blisters, they are exhausted. Only 15% arrive Santiago. Every year about 10 pilgrims die on the path. Many are simply not prepared. Many don't exercise in advance. They don't listen to the advice from more experienced pilgrims. One cannot carry more than 10% of the own body weight, rather less than more.

Back to my books. I save a picture of the author on Pinterest when I've read a bood. I add the title of the book that I read from this author. It reminds me of the author. When I want to read the book again, I have to buy it again. This is so much cheaper to pay rent for it and to clean it again and again. This album also gives me ideas what I want to read next. Creating these albums helps me to let go of all these books.

The life style of a yogi is simple. I love space. Things have the bad habit to steal my time. They need to get organised, cleaned and so on. Less is more.

Today I created room. I cleaned, dusted huge areas of the book shelf.

I'm ready for a yoga practice tomorrow.




It's late


It's late, it's Friday night.

I neglected my blog, because I thought I don't have to write a lot about yoga. Fact is, I practice, then my back pain returns, I stop with yoga, after a while I feel better, I start again....

From time to time I get a comment from readers who follow my blog for years. This touches me a lot. It motivates me also to keep writing. Life is so interesting. This blog needn't to be about yoga all the time.

Time to go to bed. I had bought new sheets lately. Tonight I changed the sheets. Everything is white now. To jump in a fresh bed with new sheets is great. It's as if one sleeps among white clouds.

Tomorrow more......




A new month - time to refresh the resolutions


My resolutions these days are practicing daily. A short modest practice will do. It's difficult not to go to the limits every day. My goal is to avoid pain. Doing less is better than going through a series that creates pain afterwards. My body must unlearn to feel pain. I want to interrupt the circle that is: I practice, pain comes either already during the practice or afterwards, I stop practicing, pain fades away, I practice again, pain returns, I stop practicing, pain fades away, I practice again and so on.............Adjustments are necessary. I was very creative.
After my yoga practice I must be able to take steps without pain. If I have to pull myself upstairs I did too much.

Today I practiced half primary. It felt exhausted enough. My focus is the vinyasas. I see the importance to build strength to protect my joints.

The closing sequence is very short these days. It's lotus pose. It's remembering myself that I have very good reasons to be content with my life and my yoga practice, too.

I'll find time to do pranayama today. Deep breathing calms the mind. Deep breathing gives the message that all is OK. There is no reason for worrying.

The sun is shining......... Time to go out.

Flexibility


Flexibility has many faces.

Often we mean being able to perform crazy asanas when we speak about flexibility.

One of my favorite quotes by P. Jois is surely: Body not stiff, mind stiff.
Flexibility can also mean to free the thinking from limiting patterns. To develop the attitude that anything can be possible is the right direction.

We can be flexible while breaking rules.

It's possible to vary the speed of the practice. Asanas can be altered. This all means being flexible.

Due to my lower back pain I have to be very flexible. I think I know the steps to move out of this experience. It's bad advice these days to search for the limits day in day out. Doing less, but on a regular basis is better. My last practice two days ago took this into consideration. It felt good. I must alter my practice in a way that there is almost no pain.

My mind must learn again that a yoga practice feels good.
My mind must unlearn that a yoga practice comes with pain. This is a huge challenge. I'm ready for it.

Being flexible can also mean to give on one day 180% and to take it easy the other day.

I start seeing that this dead end road that I'm in has lessons to learn. I'm more and more in peace that I'll practice at home. I miss the community, but these days yoga classes are too regularized, which is the opposite from flexibility. My goal is to be flexible, to expand my possibilities in a reasonable way.

Before writing this I had opened Pinterest. One can get the impression that yoga only serves one goal and that is to get a hot body. This is a side effect. Never forget that yoga can bring so much more. Yoga can bring peace of mind.



The July challenge



Kino's July challenge pushes me forward. There are poses that I usually omit because of my back issues, i.e. navasana. As it is part of the series, I explored what was possible. How to get into this asana had to be altered. But look, it's possible.
Setu bandhasana will be the next huge challenge. It seems impossible these days. I got too weak. But I'll explore my possibilities. I'll approach this asana open-minded.
I'm more than happy that I could do supta kurmasana and all the other asanas, too.

Every second day I practice primary to get stronger again. I get stronger every day. It's a stony way back, but at least there is a path.

I changed the sentence 'Don't give up' to 'Keep practicing'. It's positive. The mind only understands positive messages. And I keep practicing. I can harvest the first fruit.

For those who want to follow the challenge on Instagram, here is the link.

July challenge


It's a huge fun to see every day all the yoginis on Instagram. They all follow Kino's #July challenge. We became a worldwide community.

It's motivating to feel part of such a lovely group of practitioners. Many practice alone.

So also today I practiced primary. I work on the vinyasas. That's what Ashtanga yoga makes so special. I have the feeling I get closer to jump through without touching the floor.

Beside yoga I've a lot of fun with my repaired bicycle. I bought a helmet to feel safe. I made a promise to myself to drive slowly. I don't want to have an accident. It became rather dangerous to drive as there are so many wild bicycle drivers on the road.

Summer time is wonderful.

Omstars


Every morning before my Ashtanga yoga practice I watch a video on www.omstars.com.
It's very inspiring and very motivating.

Omstars is Kino's TV channel. She and other yoginis like Laruga upload tutorials. Even after 12 years of Ashtanga yoga practice I learn a lot. One of Kino's strength is that she can analyse the asanas. She learned a lot about didactic. She can also explain how to perform an asana step by step. She has no tabus: If a block makes an asana safe, why not using one. To practice safe is important for her.

I am enthusiastic and the 14 USD per month are really worth it.

A few days ago I listened to the Marichyasana tutorial. I'm so sure that what I learned will protect my back. I knew at once that it makes sense what she said. The foot of the bent leg is not placed next to the stretched leg. It's also not placed so far outside that the outer rim of the foot is in line with the body. The foot is in the middle of the thigh. This is the most natural movement for the knee. There is also no pressure on the lower back that way.

This morning I watched a tutorial about the first sitting asanas of primary. It was a reminder of the bandhas. Engaging the abdomen protects the lower back. Each time when I felt back pain this morning I engaged my muscles even a bit more.

Even though the practice of Kino is very advanced, she doesn't expect perfection from students. Whatever is possible this can be done. Correctly. She shows very easy vinyasas.

This was my highlight today. I get closer and closer to the perfect jump through and jump back movement.

This post doesn't end with a happy end. At the end of my practice, out of the blue, the pain got awful again. Perhaps shoulder stand was the reason. Whatever. I had to use my fascia roll. I walked around. I took a shower. Here we go. I feel excellent again.

I have to and I will work on strong abdomen.

Happy weekend.

Alone and happy on the mat


The picture shows my most relaxing posture when back pain is felt.

Today I had to relax only twice in that pose. I practiced primary this morning. I motivate myself with videos from omstar.com, Kino's TV channel. Having seen a video makes unstoppable. I have to practice.

It's amazing how flexible I am. Even supta kurmasana was possible. Many asanas also tell me that I have the weight that allows these challenging postures.

There were also asanas that I couldn't perform:
- Purvottanasana and setu bandhasana. Both asanas require that the back is engaged. After all these forward bending asanas this is impossible.
- I don't try urdhva dhanurasana. It's a torture to even try it after all the forward bending asanas. It's added later in history. It's an advanced back bending pose that comes out of nowhere. There is no preparation, nothing. Exercise smart, I think.
- Shoulder stand is impossible. To get out of the pose triggers horror. I have to fall out of the  pose. This is an uncontrolled movement, that scares me a lot. How to fall out of the pose is the question. I leave it out. One day it will return, then I'll welcome this pose again.
- The vinyasas are lost, I don't care. To get stronger again takes time. I give my best. I lift myself up again and again.

So 4 asanas were not possible, BUT all the other challenging asanas were possible. I was able to perform all the core asanas: baddha konasana, supta kurmasana, marichyasana D and garbha pindasaana. This is good.

Nevertheless, I won' t forget to add pranayama to my practice. I don't want to sit and breathe and meditate right after the asana practice. I want to shower first. It feels better. I want to sit on a blanket and not on a sticky mat.

Walking around and the pose on the picture are most relaxing for me. They have the effect of a pain killer. They probably take away the cramp in the muscle. What exact happens in my body is still a secret.

A brand new week has started. Wonderful.

By the way, I'm also on Instagram and flickr.
If you like to see me levitating, please have a look.





A tiny wrong movement


A tiny wrong movement and I have the hell on earth. The faster I can relieve the muscle cramp, the faster I escape from this hell called lower back pain. Yet this is sometimes a challenge. What luck that this lower back pain is not permanent.

I practiced. It started wonderful. I felt flexible, I was focused. To get from a back bending asana like ustrasana to a counter pose seems to be difficult. My back gets confused and this was it then. My timer is set. I want to be 90 minutes on the mat no matter what happens. I could continue after this sudden shock pain. Twists always feel good. They released my muscles. I could even do mayurasana. I finished my yoga practice with padmasana, left leg first to balance my body again.

I have a list now of activities that help when this sudden pain arises:
1. walking around (to get out of an asana and to stand up can be challenging)
2. twists
3. rolling on the foam roll (It's important to have it handy.)
4. baddha konasana
5. Engaging the abdomen and bandhas
6. a shower (afterward)

Here I sit in paradise again. Pain is gone.

The experience from this morning strengthens my opinion that I can stabilize this SI joint when I do strength training. My Monday morning will start with Day 1 of strength training. It's the third start.

The SI joint is misplaced, not blocked


My SI joint is not blocked, it's misplaced. The right terminology helps to understand what happened, it also points at possible healing methods.

If one speaks of a blocked SI joint, one might think: OK, then I go to a chiropractor. He/she makes a jerky movement with my body and everything will be OK. The joint will be in place again, unblocked so to say.
Yet this is not the case. An SI joint cannot be blocked.

An SI joint can be misplaced.
This might be the cause for lower back pain on the right or left side of the back. Some have pain on both sides. The pain comes from another source. The muscles get cramped around this joint. To release these muscles helps but only for a while. The cause, the misplaced SI joint is still misplaced.

Why can an SI joint be misplaced?
There are many reasons, I think it can be helpful if we understand the why.
1. Pregnant women often have lower back pain. The hips open during the pregnancy. This can cause a lot of pressure on the SI joint. After the pregnancy the body can adjust itself. Back pain disappears.
2. Sitting all day long in a wrong position might be a reason for a misplaced SI joint.To move more, to sit correctly can be a solution.
3. Too much weight on the body can be another cause. Many people are overweight these days. It can put too much pressure on these tiny joints at the end of the spine. To lose weight might help. Others lift weight. This might lead to the same issues for the same reasons. I consider weight lifting not as healthy.
4. Imbalanced and overstretched ligaments around the joint  is another reason. This might be the cause for yoga practitioners. Too hard adjustments or one-sided poses can cause this pain in the long run. I consider it wrong that I put always the left leg first behind my head in supta kurmasana. I was asked to take the right leg first in padmasana. Also here I think it's better to alter the legs to keep the body in balance.

The reason why the SI joint is misplaced can point at healing methods. It can be to lose weight, it can be to give up weight lifting. It can be that major life style changes could be a solution. Most people sit too much.

How can I heal my misplaced SI joint?

What does not help:
1. Pain killer only helps to be pain free for a limited time. Family doctors give pills, orthopedist give injections. Finally it's the same superficial treatment. I don't say that it cannot help sometimes.
2. To stop Ashtanga yoga is also only a solution for a short period of time. Soon I'll get issues because of inactivity, stiffness and weakness.

What can I do?
I think I have to do strength training. Strong abdomen support the back.
A few days back I found a video by a woman who had SI joint related pain and became pain free after having found exercises that strengthened her hip muscles.



During my practice today I took care to engage the abdomen. I was astonished what was possible. Yet at the end nothing was possible anymore.
How to get into the shower, I wondered. It was difficult to put off the yoga clothes. Finally the hot water and then the cold water calmed my back. I feel good again. The pain is volatile.





It gets worse


This back pain is behind me like a stalker.
Yesterday I had planned to do the asana sequence from Rishikesh that starts with salamba sarvangasana. It should be something easy as I had not so much time. Just nine asanas, I thought, a piece of cake for someone who has more than 10 years of Ashtanga yoga behine me. It was not possible to get into that inversion asana, shoulder stand. My back screamed. A tiny movement and the pain can become horrible.

This morning my back didn't feel much better. So I thought it would be a good idea to start practicing in the afternoon. I did some poses in the afternoon, yet didn't experience flow or joy. Frustrated I stopped.

Kino's videos on omstar shooed me  out of my mental valley. I have to pick myself up every day where I am. I cannot compare my practice with the practice 2 years ago.  I have to work around the pain.

Variations




In order not to get bored with the asana sequence from Rishikesh, I looked up variations of the asanas. The sequence starts with salamba sarvangasana, The book by B.K.S. Iyengar 'Light on yoga' is an excellent source in order to find variations for any asana. 

Unfortunately my back hurt so awfully again, that I didn't know how to get out of the asana during the photo session. I fell out and stopped my photo session. Be sure there are so many more variations but these three.

The idea is that it can be interesting to have such a short sequence like the sequence of Rishikesh, if one explores the single asanas in great details. Variations help to understand the asanas. 

Today I rest, I don't do asanas. 

It's a sunny day here in Germany. Summer is my favorite time of the year. 

The asana sequence from Rishikesh


This series starts with sun salutations for about 10 minutes and it ends with nauli, pranayama and savasana.

I found this series decades ago in the book 'Yoga' by André van Lysebeth. These nine asanas accompanied me for a very long time.

It's not that spectacular, yet balanced.
The series of nine asanas consists of inversions, balancing asanas, forward bending asanas, back bending asanas and twists.

It's possible to practice variations of the asanas, yet it is not recommended to change the order.
One shall hold the asanas for 1 min. Sirsasana can be held up to 10 min.
For me 1 minute is about 15 breaths.

After all the years with Ashtanga yoga, this series seems simple and easy. Sometimes this is exactly what the body and mind needs.

André van Lysebeth talks about concentration in the book. It's an exercise that one can do with easier asanas, too.

This series can be found in the page section below the banner. It can be an alternative on days when it's difficult to practice Ashtanga yoga.

Ignore it - it's chronic


This morning I woke up with back pain. I cannot explain why my back hurts after having slept and relaxed, but it is so. We have a very good mattress. So this cannot be the reason.
Yesterday I wrote my journal and stepped rather early on the mat. Back pain got worse. Today I didn't want to make the same mistake.
Today I wanted to stabilize my back first. I did chores as if my life depended on it. I filled the washing machine, folded clothes, vacuumed, made the bed. It all distracted me from my back. Pain faded away.

During the rolfing session I was asked to move my hips forwards and backwards while I was lying on my side. The rolfer pressed the hand against my back. It didn't hurt. Remember, that you can move your back without pain, she said. Your pain memory shall be reprogrammed.

I feel so relaxed now. To do the chores first was the right strategy.

Soon I'll prepare a light breakfast for myself. My practice can take place later. 

It's difficult to start with strength training regularily, but I have to do it. I must talk myself into it. Strong muscles are always good. I must do it before my yoga practice.

What's so special with Ashtanga yoga in comparison to other styles, I wondered yesterday?
Firstly it's the vinyasas, how the asanas are connected with each other.
Secondly it's the advanced poses.
Thirdly Ashtanga yoga became a cult.

I'm not able to do the vinyasas right now. I can lift up myself to build strength, but to jump doesn't feel good. I omit it.
Other styles have advanced poses, too.
That it's a cult is fun, but I'm out already as I practice at home.

Yesterday I flipped through my yoga books and I found out that there are always series, often fixed ones. Also in the book by B.K.S. Iyengar are recommendations for asana sequences.
When I started yoga decades ago I focused on the series by Rishikesh that I found in a book by André von Lisbeth.
My idea is to practice other sequences to get out of my routine. I want to confuse my pain memory.

For those who care: I feel good with and without pain. I curse when I feel pain, I become optimistic when I don't feel pain, but I'm in peace with what life has to offers. I observe the journey. Will it end in a happy end?

Summary:
- Ignore the pain. Do anything that helps to ignore it. Reprogram the pain memory.
- Do strength training.
- Postpone the practice. Start when feeling good.
- Practice other series to confuse the pain memory and to get out of a routine that creates pain.

Wow, I have a plan.

Horror practice this morning


This morning I was again a bit earlier on the mat than yesterday and the day before yesterday. At 7am I started with the sun salutations. I'm not sure if this has been a good idea. In the morning my back is often not yet stabilized, means it hurts.

Yet first I had to go through blood circulation issues. When I moved out of the standing asanas with head close to the floor I got dizzy. I had to pause. I understand now why it makes sense to come out of poses. Perhaps I hanged forward too long.

Next issue: It must have been difficult to perform the counter poses. A tiniest wrong movement must have happened. Pain became unbearable. I didn't know anymore how to get into a standing position. I fell back on the mat. I had to attempt to stand up again. Finally I was upright. I walked consciously around. Pain was gone almost immediately.

The lower back on the right side must be so unstable that a tiny wrong movement can spoil everything. Nerves must get pinched. Perhaps an evening session could be good....

I walked around, made many rounds, happy that this was possible. Ustrasana was my last asana today.

I took a shower. This is usually relieving as well. Then I went to bed with 'The tree of yoga' by B.K.S. Iyengar.
This back pain exhausts me.

Tomorrow primary..........l'll explore what will be possible.

Picture: This is an asana that I'll integrate in my practice. It feels good as a preparation for kapotasana. It stretches the upper body.

Rolfing Session 1


About one year ago when my lower back pain had reached a peak, I made a list of activities I could do for myself. Rolfing was one activity on the list.

Yesterday I had my first session. The woman who offers this treatment is originally from Northern Italy. Last month she had passed the very difficult test for alternative healing. I found her on my way home from my family doctor who is located in the same building.

There is the method and there is the person who applies the method. A very good method applied by someone inexperienced might be ineffective or worse.
Yet if one finds a committed experienced person miracles might happen.

I read on the website that she has had back pain as well and that she had made best experiences with rolfing. She got so excited that she wanted to become a rolfer. This experience of her was that convinced me that she would be the right person.

When she opened the door to her practice yesterday, I found her very nice from the first moment on. She is a beautiful slim woman. She seems to walk the talk.

My expectations re these 10 sessions are not that my back gets healed. I want to do something relaxing for myself after these 2 and a half aggressive years, that injured my body. .

The first moment I met her was important. We do body work together, so it's better if there is trust and sympathy.

In the practice is a skeleton. I got explained where the SI joint is. It is interesting to see the anatomy. This SI joint is so protected. That I injured myself there after so many years of Ashtanga yoga is incredible.

All doctors, rolfers, physiotherapist, orthopedist seem to agree: Don't stop practicing Ashtanga yoga. It will only limit my possibilities in the long run.

Rolfing: The method is rather soft. It's possible to feel the connections of the body. For instance on the muscle below my arms a soft pressure was executed. I should lift the arm, yet it almost flew upwards. No effort was needed.
The rolfer is very attentive. At first she only touched my spine to connect with my body and to create trust.

The first rolfing session traditionally focuses on the neck. Yet I was glad that my injured area was treated, too.

I can stand, I can walk. My body is balanced. The simplest things are often the most demanding ones.

The treatment felt good to me. It's also sort of pampering for my body. I see that softness can be effective, too. To learn more of the connections of the different body parts will surely deepen my understanding for the asanas.

Next week I'll have the next session. Focus will be the feet.




Most people stop


Most people stop practicing Ashtanga yoga. Classes are full of beginners. Some people are talented and very flexible, yet they just started with the practice. Less than 10% practice a decade. Most people stop for different reasons after some time.
Most people retire one day. They don't want to work one day longer than necessary.
Most people have had friendships, yet one day the paths divided.

There might be very good reasons, but also excuses why this happens.

Not always people stop doing something. A few weeks back I went to an exhibition by Peter Lindbergh, the photographer. He is now 71. Someone asked him if he considered to stop working. He doesn't want to stop working. He is in the flow now. Now he can play with the different skills. He has the connections to people in the community. Why stopping?

There are few people who find activities, jobs they want to do till the last breath, till they die. It's worth looking for such activities. It's fulfilling.

It's of course also fine to stop an activity if interest fades away. Sometimes priorities change. Why not.

Often people quit a community, an activity or whatever with complaining, blaming, discontentment.
A few days back I found a blog post by an ex-Ashtangi, who explained in great detail why she stopped practicing. She has been an aspiring Ashtanga yoga teacher. There was no single good word about yoga. She wrote about Mysore and has never been there. The community was provoked. The list of comments were long and so committed.

It is an art to quit. I even think it's OK to point out the negative aspects. To have a critical view on something can solve issues. Yet to generalize and to think that the own feelings and experiences are the only truth is simply wrong.

This is also why I prefer to share my experiences. At the same time I wish that other practitoners who read my blog might be inspired, but everybody must make his/her own experiences. What is true for me, can be wrong for someone else. I enjoy the exchange of experiences and stories.

I'll surely not quit Ashtanga yoga that fast. I face obstacles, they are not huge enough to make myself doubt about my practice.

Also today I practiced. Today primary was on the schedule. After 90 min my alarm clock rang, I was still in the middle of the middle part. My practice became slow. The extra asanas need extra time, too.
My practice improves slowly, very slowly. Today I could do  kurmasana again. Eka pada sirsasana (a substitute for supta kurmasana) was possible, too. At the end the lower back pain (SI joint issues) dominated the practice and I was glad when I was finally in savasana.
Strange, but after the shower, first with warm water, then with cold water, I feel relaxed again, so does my back.

Today will be my first rolfing session. I'm very curious.



Quality over quantity



The timer was set for 90 min. It rang before I had finished primary today. I had enough. I felt exhausted.

My focus is to relax when I practice the asanas.
I also want to regain strength. That is I lift myself up between asanas, not between sides. This would still be too much right now.

The two asanas above are often my counter poses to all these forward bending asanas of primary. It feels good. The movement starts from the hips.

That I could stretch my legs in kurmasana was a surprise. After that pose not much happened, but the wish to stop. I stay on the mat for 90 min. It's great to do only fav poses or relaxing poses or savasana, but I want to be on the mat for 90 min. I need again a feeling for time.

It was a perfect start of the week.

No discussion - I practice


No discussion: I practice.

I stop these inner discussion of the ambitious me and the lazy fearful me at an early point. Too often the lazy me wins. It's OK to practice only relaxing asanas, but not to practice at all is not an alternative.

Today is Sunday, second Ashtanga series was on the schedule. Back bending was the focus.

Forward split is always part of my practice, every day. It helps me to stretch the hip flexor of the leg that stretches backwards.
The first step is  being able to be on the floor with both legs. Then one can think of back bending in that position in addition. To make it easier it could be useful to bend the leg that is in front of the body.

Whenever a pose felt weak, I repeated it. Often the pose is much more relaxing when it has reached a perfect form. Feeling good in a pose is my goal. I want to breathe deeply also in difficult asanas.

Highlight of today: I could bind pashasana again. I celebrate this.

When under the shower after my practice I tell my brain: Time to give trouble to my back is over. This shows effect.

It's time for breakfast now.

These 100 minutes were so worth doing it.


Done


I love to practice at home. The feeling for the duration of my practice is lost. That's why I set a timer. Ninety minutes asana practice is a fantastic time. My practice slowed down. I stay in an asana till it feels good. These days I close my eyes. I focus on the inner sensations. It helps me to relax. With closed eyes, I can also better focus on my breath. Time flies. The 90 minutes are over so quickly.

Unbelievable how painful the transitions were today. I crawled from one asana to the next. Doing vinyasas is something else. After the twists of second series the ninety minutes were over. The three lotus pose position finished my practice.
The asanas are improving again. Even urdhva dhanurasana is coming back and it feels good to bent backwards. Patience is needed.

Right now I feel excellent. The mornings offer me horror pain. It's fading away during the day.

Yesterday I had a first phone call with the rolfer. Next Wednesday I'll have my first session. She asked for any issues. I told her about my sacroiliac joint. She is optimistic that she can help me. I don't expect this. But this nice lady is optimistic, why shouldn't I be optimistic, too?


Highlights and disappointments


I'm back to a good routine. I usually practice in the morning.

On Sunday I practiced second series, on Monday primary, today again second series.

Highlights: 
- I could take my leg behind my head, one after the other during primary. It was not as far and easy-going as it used to be, but it was possible. This makes me happy.
- I could stretch my legs in kurmasana, the body lifted from the floor. Wow. I could even hold this pose.
- Back bending feels great.

Disappointments:
- My practice started hurting again. It's almost impossible to add counter poses. Even a downward facing dog after ustrasana seems impossible. Then the sacroiliac joint seems to be out of place.
- I fall out of headstand, because pain doesn't allow to move slowly out of the pose, also not with bent legs.
- To get out of salamba sirsasana is impossible. I leave out this pose.
- I practice variations, but this is great.

I love that I practice. Being in the asanas doesn't hurt. The stuff between the asanas gives me trouble.

I become more and more flexible. The practice is more and more adjusted to my needs. I left the rigidity behind me.

Life is as it is. I make the best out of the situation.
I tried not to practice. This wasn't satisfying.
I ignored the pain. This I don't recommend either.
I became modest and I'm content that I can practice.

On my list are now 10 rollfing sessions. I don't expect too much, but it's something that I do for myself. It's sort of pampering.

Inspiration by Nancy Gilgoff

Here is a link, that describes how P. Jois taught Ashtanga yoga in the very early years.

It's a very interesting article.

As said, many things were changed since the beginning. Too many people wanted to learn Ashtanga yoga. All the compromises that were made on the way made the series not better, but probably more approachable for the masses. I got injured.

I practiced today again. I loved my practice. It was painful. I find more and more ways how to avoid this pain. Posts about this topic will come.


I do it my way.


Yesterday I practiced the Moon Series by Matthey Sweeney. I think I remember that I had read that he couldn't practice one of the classic Ashtanga series due to an injury. So he created a series for himself that he was able to practice. Sorry, I cannot remember the source anymore.

I love the sequence. It seemed to be perfect for him and probably also for many others. For me it could be a series that I'd like to practice in addition to one of the Ashtanga yoga series, but not as a substitute.

Why? The series consists of mainly forward bending asanas. At the end are a few back bending asanas. After all these forward bending asanas I was not able to do an easy ustrasana. I couldn't reach my feet. After a decade of forward bending I have enough from only forward bending asanas. I've reached a level that is advanced. My back bending isn't. For me a balanced training has twists, inversions, back bending, forward bending asanas. I don't want to forget the balancing asanas.

Nevertheless I learned something that makes it easier to practice with my current issues (back pain). It's possible to move into the trikonasana poses from downward facing dog not from a standing position. This tiny variation makes a difference. It takes away all the burden on the lower back.

I could write more details. But is it really important? I won't follow another strict system. After decades of yoga practice I know my body and I know what is good for me. I keep learning. I'm interested in what others do. At the end I decide if it's good for me.
Joint pain is to be avoided.

When I get up these days, back pain is back. With every hour of being active it disappears. I consider to postpone my practice to a later hour of the day. To focus on back bending feels good, so I'll adjust second series.

I don't know why, but I still think one day this lower back pain belongs to the past. I can live with my current difficulties. It is as it is. It's really not that important. Who cares if I change the series? Who cares when I practice in the afternoon? Life would be boring without issues. I'm not so involved or down in all these happenings. I observe, I'm looking for a solution.

I remember the beginning of Burroughs book 'Junkie': He mentioned why he started taking drugs. He felt cut off from life. Taking drugs meant for him to feel life. Not that I want to recommend to create issues for oneself to get a feeling of being alive. Life means to face different situations. It's not necessary to judge everything. Life can be also observed.

Back to the title of this blog post: One  must find one's own way. Everybody has other possibilities, skills, another body and so on. To have one solution for everybody is an illusion. I do it my way.

I'll keep practicing my possible variations. Patience is necessary. I feel relaxed.



The picture is new, a few days old. Oh my, I felt weak when I tried this pose.



Painful practice


PP - Painful practice.

I have a fantasy: It is that I make a very awkward movement and from one second to the other the back pain caused by my sacroiliac joint is gone from one second to the other. Till this fantasy becomes true, I do what is possible. From time to time I curse, I also motivate myself. You don't give up, I tell myself. I'm not a couch potato and I don't want to become one.

I practice very slowly. But I practice: Hallelujah.

Today back bending was my focus. Before the intensive asanas ustrasana, laghu vajrasana and kapotasana I do the split pose. It lengthens my front side. This allows me to get so much deeper into the back bending asanas than without this exercise. I repeat kapotasana against the wall. It helps me to adjust myself. I think a pose should feel good. In the beginning stretching pain might be felt, but after a while of deep breathing the body should relax and feel good.

I feel like a hero, because I didn't use the pain as an excuse not to practice. Every practice makes the next one easier.

Nutrition is as important as the practice. Both influence each other. These days I try to eat protein at my two main meals that is breakfast and lunch. Today I had soy yogurt with almond puree and the best strawberries I've eaten for a long time for breakfast. My mother-in-law is still here as our guest. I'll go to an Indian restaurant with her for lunch. I know already that I'll order the black lentils. Lentils are also protein. The huge asset of protein is that one feels full for a long time. In addition it's necessary to build muscles.

Oh, I can't wait. I'm so looking forward to my next practice.


Being content


When I remember how strong and how flexible I've been already and how weak and stiff I'm now, I could get crazy. Yet, this leads to nothing. Only daily modest work helps to get out of the valley of discontentment.

Every day one has to pick up oneself. Sometime I feel tired. Sometimes I feel over motivated. Not thinking too much, stepping on the mat and exploring what is possible on exactly that day is it.

Yesterday I saw a May challenge on Instagram #untagleme. Something new is often inspiring. I have the opinion that those who practice Ashtanga yoga can easily do the poses of other styles and fantasies. So it is. Even though not every crazy pose might be possible. I learned to change anything in a way that it serves my needs.

Today I'll work on back bending again, that is second series.

Stay curious.
Stay hungry. (Not for pralinés.)
These feelings guarantee an exciting life.

Time to move.




Cardio, strength training, Yoga, nutrition


Cardio:
It's overrated. It's time-consuming and boring. I have the feeling that it has not so much effect on my body. My feet have wounds now from all the walking. OK, I could find better shoes. I admit, that to walk a bit is better than sitting all day long. In order to have a good training for the heart, I think it must bump hard. That is interval training should be added.
Many people do cardio in order to lose weight. Yet not much kcal are used up when walking. In addition one has found out that people get hungry after cardio and eat more than usually.
What I take from all the researches AND my own experiences: It's good to move, but I won't set my goals higher and higher. 70.000 steps every week is enough. I will take steps fast, so that I get out of breath. I consider to go by bicycle much more often. With that goal I won't win a prize on fitbit...haha....

Strength training:
I think it's important and underestimated. It's also rewarding. 30 min every second day is enough. Breaks are important. Being strong makes daily living easier. Being stronger will help me to master some of the difficult asanas. I'm sure. I won't lift weight. My own body weight is enough to work with.

Ashtanga Yoga:
The asset of this activity is that one can get very flexible. I love it. I got stronger, I got very flexible with time. Ashtanga yoga is my focus. The rest of the activities circle around this activity.
Pranayama and meditation is part of this practice, too.

Nutrition:
Everybody knows something else. As a yogini I want to live without doing harm to other creatures. I also want to eat well. It's possible these days. Everything is available, but we also have to make smart decisions.
I had underestimated the importance of protein. I try to avoid sugar when possible and processed food. My portions are small. I have 2 meals every day, breakfast and lunch. this is enough for me. I love to eat.
I'm on my way to become a chef.


On my yoga practice:
The last few days I woke up with back pain. I was not motivated to do anything, but walking around.

Today a new Ashtanga week has started, and I practiced. Oh my it was painful. Several times I did fascia massages. NOW I feel good. To practice these days requires a lot of motivation. I have a focus and a plan. During the next week kapotasana will be my focus. I'll dedicate 20 min to that pose when I do second series. My timer supports me. I started today with the execution of this plan. I did different exercises. I also added passive stretching.
Pictures will follow.

Practice is over. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Picture: Myself 7 years ago on my former balcony.

One hour on the mat, despite Easter


One tiny wrong position, one wrong movement and this sacroiliac joint gets crazy and the muscle around it, too. Then I curse, not loud, but I curse. This tiny joint dominates my life. It causes pain again and again. I know what to do to calm it. I have to roll out the muscle with my fascia roll. I had forgotten it at home. Nevertheless, I also know asanas, especially the twists, that help to relax this huge muscle.

I think now strength training will stabilize my back. Let's see.

It was surely a mistake to practice only here and then. This is past, too. I'm on the right track again.

This journey is an adventure. Sometimes it's bumpy. I'm looking forward to my practice tomorrow morning.

This morning it snowed. It looked great. Some trees were green already and then the snowflakes sat on the green leaves to rest there for a while, for a moment.

Cardio, Yoga, Strength


I'm sitting here with rosy cheeks. I feel slightly exhausted which feels good. My lousy mood of today is like blown away. I was outside and walked. My goal was to take my daily  10,000 steps. My fit-bit tool says that I walked 7,935 stepy by now. I almost was downtown. To walk 10,000 steps, if one doesn't want to jog takes a very long time. I thought cardio training would complement my yoga practice. To be honest I think cardio training is boring.

What is cardio training? 
One repeats tiny movements again and again. The speed might change. It can be nice to be outside. But that's it. There is scarcly any variation that could make this activity more interesting. Walking, swimming, going by bicycle are typical cardio activities.

Why cardio training?
It shall strengthen the cardio-vascular-system. It's good for the heart, so to say. Sounds good. If it weren't that boring and so time-consuming.

I decided to walk much more as cardio training. Quickly I realized that I need good shoes. Not only this. The sole needs to get repaired rather soon. Or one buys new shoes. I have already red parts on the sides of my feet.10.000 steps, this is something. And in the last weeks I walked even more. The air in a big city like Munich is not so good.

Perhaps I should alter these 3 activities. Walking, swimming and going by bicycle during the summer month could be an idea to make the training for the heart more interesting.

BUT, more important for me is my yoga practice. The strength of yoga is that it's the best stretching activity that I know. Yoga makes flexible. The body and hopefully the mind, too. Yoga has almost no influence on the cardio-vascular-system. One gets stronger, but it's not enough. In order to accomplish some of the challenging asanas like laghu vajrasana it might be necessary to add strength training. Just doing it for 5 breath is definitely not enough.

Strength training is also very important, especially when we grow older. Strength training is very rewarding. Three times a week is enough. Within 30 min a lot can be done. Breaks are important. The practice is sweaty and my heart rate goes up. Results can be felt very soon. I don't want to lift weight. I tried a training that uses my own body weight. This is enough for me. That way my joints don't have so much stress.

Indeed, the fitness industry grew in the last decade. So much material is available. It can be a challenge to find valuable information. It's possible. I read so much during the last month. It can be rather confusing. In the meantime I got an overview again.

I want to do all this effort to stay fit as long as possible. This is one of the promises of diligent yoginis. This practice can help to stay fit. Am I also a bit vain? Perhaps, yes. My body is what I have. I live with it 24 hours every day. I love to take care of this perfect instrument of the divine.

Facing the obstacles can give a lot of energy. Keep practicing. 🏆



15 min longer than yesterday


Yes, I did it. My practice lasted 15 min longer than yesterday. I took some pictures of the back bending asanas. It motivates me. It's also a learning tool.
I always add twists after the back bending asanas, but after the twists I had enough. To practice with back pain is not that easy.

What seemed good, turned out to be the wrong path. This is also a life lesson. One never knows what is good and what is not so good in the long run. We tend to judge things, events rather quickly. often we are wrong.
I remember how I jubilated when I learned that I could practice every single day in a yoga studio. It injured me. This rigid asana training ignored every individuality.  I had to return to my home practice. That's what I'm doing now. I practice at home.

Of course I learned something during these years when I went to a yoga class as if I went to work. My concentration improved. Also at home I focus on my practice. I don't leave the mat anymore. I remember that this was an issue during many years. I think this is a huge improvement.

A few months back I attented a yoga class again. I'd like to have a group of practitioners that allows me to exercise what I consider good for me. The teacher practiced and taught at the same time. While he was doing his asanas he observed the few students. From time to time he interrupted his practice to give adjustments.
Practicing yoga means to focus, to concentrate. This is why Indian student went to yoga teacher decades ago. They wanted to improve their concentration to pass the exams. If one tries to do several things at the same time, the energy is scattered. Yoga is also energy work.
What could I learn from this teacher? If he hadn't tried to adjust me and to give me his wrong dangerous tips, I'd probably be there more often just to be part of a group.
It's so important to learn about the own limits as a student as well as a teacher. If you don't know your limits as a student it might happen that you injure yourself. It's always an approach, because often the consequences of  a mistake show the other day and not at once. If you don't know your limits as a teacher, you might injure others.

A friend recommended a very interesting book: 'Your Body, Your Yoga' by Bernie Clark. Alone the forward by Paul Grilley is worth buying this book. Yoga became part of the fitness industry. Yoga became a sportive activity for the masses. There was a need for teacher, a lot of teacher as fast as possible. Quickly teacher trainings (TT) were created: 200 hours of yoga and you're a yoga teacher. Great. The more rigid the teaching is, the easier it is to teach.That's what we can observe in yoga classes these day. This is no more what makes me happy.

There is still one yoga teacher I'd like to see. There is hope. :)
In addition I joined omstar. Kino MacGregor has created this online yoga platform. It costs a monthly fee, I think this is more than OK. Kino is one of the best yoginis, I know. She understands a lot of didactic. And it's motivating to feel part of a group.

Let's keep practicing. What works is worth repeating. What's not working must be left behind.


One hour on the mat



It feels always good afterward. To practice with this back pain is a challenge. It requires a lot of discipline to keep practicing. I went from one painful asana to the next. Sometimes I'm also pain free. However, I don't expect anymore to return to that lightness I came from. It feels good to practice at home. I get up at 6 am again. I've time to write my journal. There is even time to sit together with my beloved E, while he has breakfast. When I'm alone I start my practice. Slow. Very slow.

I still love it. I love to stretch my body. The asanas fascinate me.

Strength training is very rewarding.  It's very effective and not so time-consuming like stretching (yoga) and cardio training. Breaks are even recommended. Strength training and yoga fits very well together.

Being alive, being able to practice is enough reason to feel more than content.


Back bending, an overview


My focus is back bending.

How many back bending asanas has Ashtanga yoga, I wondered.

Primary:
1. Setu bandhasana
2. Urdhva dhanurasna

Second Series:
1. Salabhasana A and B
2. Bhekasana
3. Dhanurasana
4. Parsva dhanurasana
5. Ustrasana
6. Laghu vajrasana
7. Kapotasana A and B
8. Supta vajrasana
9. Urdhva dhanurasana

Advanced A:
1. Viparita dandasana
2. Eka pada viparita dandasana
3. Viparita Salabhasana (not possible for me anymore)
4. Ganda Bherundasana (in my next life)
5. Natarajana
6. Raja kapotasana
7. Eka pada raja kapotasana
8. Urdhva dhanurasana
9.. Urdhva dhanurasana

Advanced B:
1. Padangustha Dhanurasana A and B
2. Eka Pada Dhanurasana
3. Eka Pada Kapotasana
4. Parivrttasana A and B
5. Urdhva dhanurasana

OK, I give in. Kapotasana is my next Himalaya. Sometimes it requires many many attempts to climb up this mountain.



Strength training


I started with strength training. This time I found an approach that works. It's a 90 day challenge with different levels that got me going. The book is written by Mark Lauren. I have the German version. There are strength training books for men and for women. Englisch versions exist, too. The exercises are very interesting and exhausting. The 90 day challenge is thought through. I don't agree on everything, but this is OK.

There is a group on facebook who do strenght training with this book. This helps a lot to stay committed. The training is without weight, only the weight of the body is used. After the third day only I have already sore muscles. This is a very positive sign. It means I worked hard, I didn't betray myself.

One day I'll come up from the pose on the picture. Strength is needed to accomplish this.




Is there protein in it?



When I started Yoga over 30 years ago it was clear, a yogini doesn't eat meat. It's possible to survive without doing harm to other creatures. One should live a life full of respect for other creatures on this planet. 

There are few rules, but to live a life in peace with others is one of the few rules. 

It seems clear that muscles are build of protein. If one wants to get stronger it's recommended to eat protein. I even think that I felt so weak years ago, because my nutrition was not adjusted to my lifestyle of 2 and a half hours of Ashtanga yoga. Some poses didn't improve. I felt too weak. I think now that more protein would have made my life easier. 

No matter what sports one wants to do, nutrition is as important as the sportive activity itself. 
The asana practice is so demanding in Ashtanga yoga, that it's a must to reflect on what we eat. 

In the meantime I know people who don't go to restaurants anymore. In restaurants quantity is important, not quality. If one wants to eat well, one must become a chef. 

I go so far to say: An advanced yogini can also prepare delicious and healthy meals. 

I analysed my food with that fitbit tracker. 



Different levels of flexibility


There are different levels of flexibility.

Very flexible people can do a yoga pose without any warm-up. After a deep back bending asana the body allows it to go at once into a deep forward bending asana.

This all gets more difficult when the body gets older.

I need a warm up for most asanas.
Often it feels so much better to do some preparation asanas. In yoga classes this is a tabu. At home I feel free to do whatever feels good.
For me it's so much easier to do urdhva dhanurasana with my hands on a block first before I do the real thing.



I also practice this pose against a wall first. It's very helpful to have an external clue. The idea to bring the chest to the wall is much more useful than to think 'open your heart'. 
It makes sense to look for an external clue if one wants to learn an asana. The alarm clock can also be an external clue, too. It might help to hold an asana longer. Counting the breath is less effective. 

The HOW TO learn a pose is so important. It is neglected in the community. Self-study is a key word here. 

It's Sunday. The sun is shining. We have a guest, my mother-in-law is here. A Sunday excursion is planned. 
I slept longer than I wished. The plan was to get up early to practice before the common breakfast. It didn't happen. I can blame our neighbour why I didn't get up early. They had a party yesterday night. It was already after 1am, when they opened the balcony doors. Loud music could be heard everywhere. I was not the only one who checked who was so ruthless. I saw other neighbours on their balconies. to check who made such a noise at such a time. Party guests smoked on the balcony. the ash of the cigarettes flew through the air. I thought that I got older. I remember that I usually was amused when someone had party time. My life style has changed. I want to sleep before midnight. I love the early mornings. The music was not my taste either. The calm after a storm is very calm. 

Time to see what my darlings are doing.......


Saturday is rest day


Saturday is rest day. Really?

At least it is a yoga free day.

I try to do every day some chores. Nevertheless often the Saturday is a marathon cleaning day. Especially when I expect guests. My mother-in-law is already in the train to Munich. She is on her way to visit us.

A lot is done here, I hope that I can pick myself up again to vacuum. It's usually a loud activity. If one vacuums when not alone the message is clear. Can you hear it. I'm so busy doing chores. And you?
Most chores one can do almost secretly, as if one has brownies. Things get done, but nobody realizes how. Not so when the floor is dirty.  If the vacuum cleaner must leave the storage room to do a cleaning job, it gets loud. It gets on the nerves of everybody.
I remember a story of a colleague. He used to work longer on Thursdays, because every Thursday his wife was vacuuming the floors. This was obviously not his thing. He preferred to work overtime hours than to listen to the sound of the cleaning machine.

Yes, it's possible to take my leg behind my head. It must become comfortably again. The goal is to relax in that pose. One must think: Ahhhhhh, this feels sooooooo goooooood. Right now I think: I hope I can hold this pose till it makes click. Ah, finally I can get out of the pose.

It's easier to work either on back bending or on forward bending asanas. To have both sorts of asanas in one session requires too much flexibility right now.

I'm sitting here, enjoying my Pu Errh tea, I have some ginger sticks with it. The combination of bitter, hot and sweet aroma pleases me.

I'm looking forward to my practice tomorrow morning. I'm so glad that I practice again. Action helps to stop complaining. Action helps to stop blaming others for the own situation. Focusing on the breath doesn't allow destructive thoughts.

I got a warning, a serious warning. I adjusted my practice. But I won't give it up. I see myself as a very old person, still stretching and bending on a sticky mat. Follow me.